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I started my first business in the 5th grade when I convinced a neighbor to allow me to cut her grass with her electric lawn mower. more
“Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.” Those are the clever words of British humorist Terry Pratchett, who couldn’t have explained the aging process … more
Millions of young women dream of being honored on Mother’s Day. more
The concept of “parking” loses most of its mystique as you get past the giddy days of a freshly minted driver’s license and shoulder the responsibilities of adulthood. more
Depending on when you’re reading this, my 52nd birthday is/was on April 20th, which, as my dad still loves to remind me, is the same day as Adolf Hitler’s. As a child, I remember thinking that 52 was an age that might be reached by an elderly Galapagos tortoise or a giant redwood tree—certainly not a human. more
I haven’t run away and joined the circus, but I am nearing the age when a financial safety net admittedly has the allure of the Sirens of Greek mythology. more
I recommend the seasonal flu — but please allow me to explain. more
According to Livestrong.com, there are nearly 5 million young people participating in gymnastics in the United States, and although only a handful ever make it to Olympic competition, their parents fork over enough cash on lessons, leotards, custom-embroidered gym bags, hair bows, grips – and other equipment my wife didn’t tell me about – to fund the entire Russian sports doping program. more
Where did all the nurses go? more
I’m glad there’s widespread confusion about what a woman is. I’ve been confused my entire life. more
After the Academy Awards incident between Will Smith and Chris Rock, I started wondering how many of my gentle readers have resorted to physical violence in their adult life. more
If you have a habit of forgetting names as soon as you’re introduced, join the club. In all fairness, I have a mind like a steel trap when it comes to appointments, debts and trivia; … more
With the onset of daylight saving time throughout the U.S. – except for a couple of states that still trust the science – we’ve now reached the time of year that is especially challenging for folks like me who don’t identify as “morning people.” more
A tiny portion of my “day job” at a farm-and-home cooperative involves writing radio commercials and on-hold phone messages. more
Years ago, when I was just beginning to practice immigration law, I remember hearing about two horrific genocides. more
To the Editor: Hello! I am a third-grade student in northern Virginia. Our class is learning about the United States, and I will be teaching our school about the state of Texas. In the month of May, I will create a display for our state fair that I hope will make you proud. more
Warning! The following column is clogged with gratuitous potty humor. If it’s a strain for you to read it, the CDC advises that you hold your nose, wear an N95 mask if necessary and then answer the call of curiosity. I think you’ll be relieved. more
During World War II, Americans put up with rationed gas and car tires, rationed coal and fuel oil, rationed silk and nylon, rationed meat and dairy products, rationed jams and jellies, even rationed coffee. more
Their bravery inspires. As I sit safely in the cozy office in my home writing this column, the people of Ukraine are greeting Putin’s massive military invasion with incredible defiance and courage. more
I despise airing my dirty laundry in public, but I’ll make an exception for kvetching about my clean laundry. more
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